i have nothing
left to stall and
you are no longer
welcome in my sleep
because it's too much
to wake up
and kill myself
with your songs
over and over

and over and

over and


over.

heartbroken.

i'm in pain not because
i can't find you
but simply because
i squint my eyes
—million faces and
denied tears hazing—
and then realize,
that i'm still looking.