Last Wondering

Time's singing
Words printed infinitely
And look at that,
Our smiles are frozen
Forever in photographs

I close my eyes
And fly for a while
To where best friends fought
To the land of
Thousands card games

To the invisible city
Of thousands questions
To youth, wisdom and vanity
To the time when
Music was played for us

We questioned all, didn't we?
But have we ever asked,
What to do when we're lost
When entwined hands
Are letting go…

I open my eyes
And we're no longer gods
We can never go back, but
I hold on to our captured smiles
And that's enough for now

*Time is Chantal Kreviazuk's
**For those whom I recently said farewell to, especially Surils who questioned all together with me.

love suicide, love

drown in the songs
never will be enough
sing. sing. sing.
keep singing with me

you will disappoint
and i'll ruin things
we will be alright
trust me, hold on tight

pull. pull. pull.
pull my hand and run
run. run. run.
run and pull the trigger

see the illuminations
i hid under my eyes?
hear that beat of a drum
i told you one night?

count the butterflies
blow the bubble for us
we're going down, but,
i've told you we'll be alright

Repeated Goodbyes

These are the last things
I can't say to you.

Listen carefully.
Because I can no longer
repeat things I say,
things you don't hear,
to your ear for another time.

First, I kind of miss you.
And second, goodbye.

(dec 1st 2005)

----------

In my defense
It all ends
The infatuation
My addiction
Bad habits
The littlest bits
Eventually
We'll see

(june 11th 2006)

Robot

You cut, hammer, and screw
Build him from scratch and tin can
I give colors and my words, a few
We give music and we make a plan

You believe he'll love and protect us
He'll be the eternity of you and me, I'm sure
Don't forget to sprinkle the stars in his eyes
We'll all be perfection, you assure

Lastly I give my heart, with a kiss, I seal
You do the same and he's awake
He'll love, care, and hate; he will feel
Uh-oh, have we made a big mistake?

*Once again I'm putting Robot here; only now, with the help of a much better image. Thanks to Shan Michael Evan who managed to visualize my idea.

Define Stupid

I never write your surname after my first
Add missus in front of it and giggle
I'm not that stupid
But I remember writing your name
A thousand times
Hoping you'd be all worn out
Hoping you'd fade away.

sing it out silently

were you thinking
what i was thinking?
were we asking each other
who do you miss the most?

there we were, together,
drifting to our separate ways
there we were, together
back to our loneliness daze

there we were, together
licking our own wounds
there we were, together
hoping we'd snap out of it
--soon.

up and apart

Vodka in hand
Dream of a band
Play stupid cards
Self-proclaimed retards

Singing mellow tunes
Blow and pop balloons
Yes, of course we dance
The melodious trance

Charades, ridicules and jokes
Burst and fade with the smokes
Let's leave all unspoken
Then we'll be left unbroken

Wish we'll stay like this
And we will reminisce
Our vanished nights
Our mockery fights

Because soon is the dawn
And promises will be gone
Before we all say goodbye
Here's iloveyou to get by

*For anyone who's standing (or hesitating) at the gate of growing up, growing apart, or goodbyes.

cheers for the un*pop*ables

started out with sweet seventeens
we got out alive to tell the story
with cigarettes we could be seen
never explain, be on time nor sorry

now we're legal to gulp it all down
swim in destruction but I never drown
thanks to you and you and yes, you
this is for another years to go through

on a post-it on your window

if i had left the words,
"you've had me and always will"
what would you do about it?
or at least how would you feel?

Asylum

Can you sing Flowers for me?
That is my rescue, it has to be
I won't blame the full-moon again
I won't be needing all the coccaine

Just listen, I won't pop anymore pills
The grass, the wine, whatever that kills
I just don't want to get used to you
Not being here and mine to go through

*Flowers is New Radicals'

define l o v e

l o u d s i l e n c e.
l o n e l i n e s s.
l o n g i n g.
l o a t h e.
l o s t.
l o w.

skip coffee

was it you? yes, no, maybe.
or probably it was only me?
sorry, i thought it was fate
shush. a hush too late

there they go, fluttering
i know you didn't mean to
i alone stumbled upon you
now tell me what am i to do?

The Day's Lesson of Letting Go and Stitching a Smile

Read my scratchy words
And look beyond the a-b-c
This is for you, the next person
So on and so on, you'll see

In order to gain another day
I must leave a trail of treasure
With friends, loves, I must pay
Nothing stays infinitely, I'm sure

You can go, out of my head
It hurts for good, maybe a while
But I've my needle and thread
Now I can stitch my own smile

Coming Attraction...

...that most likely won't ever come.

Robot

You cut, hammer, and screw
Build him from scratch and tin can
I give colors and my words, a few
We give music and we make a plan

You believe he'll love and protect us
He'll be the eternity of you and me, I'm sure
Don't forget to sprinkle the stars in his eyes
We'll all be perfection, you assure

Lastly I give my heart, with a kiss, I seal
You do the same and he's awake
He'll love, care, and hate; he will feel
Uh-oh, have we made a big mistake?

my frequent beat is failing
sparks and butterflies are set
the rain is finally falling...

*ticktockticktockticktock*

but you're not here yet.

strangely familiar
it's the tenth moon
mistletoe in October
singing, see you soon

it's windy and gray
but warm, somewhat hot
i feel you so near
here and now, but hey,
--you're not.

You're beautiful.

See your reflection
In and beyond my eyes
The tears will help you
Explore the omitted lies

Last Words

Here it is,
Spreaded out, scattered
Before your very eyes
All of yours you didn’t get

My words
Which were born mute
My split-second
Which stays forever
My fire
Which finally exploded
And my eternity
Which came to an end

Tragically nobody's fault
I couldn't talk
Words would cost too much
You couldn't hear
Perfection was too loud

This time,
It's your turn.
This split second,
Is your eternity.

Rainbow Ghost

Rainbow Ghost is its name
It doesn't look scary
It's pretty, some reclaim
But the fact is, on the contrary

What it brings is rainbow
Everywhere, for you and me
It makes one's hopes grow
They're false, I just can't see

It's been haunting for years
So close, I can feel it
I reach out, it disappears
Leaving me in the bottomless pit