Coming Attraction...

...that most likely won't ever come.

Robot

You cut, hammer, and screw
Build him from scratch and tin can
I give colors and my words, a few
We give music and we make a plan

You believe he'll love and protect us
He'll be the eternity of you and me, I'm sure
Don't forget to sprinkle the stars in his eyes
We'll all be perfection, you assure

Lastly I give my heart, with a kiss, I seal
You do the same and he's awake
He'll love, care, and hate; he will feel
Uh-oh, have we made a big mistake?

my frequent beat is failing
sparks and butterflies are set
the rain is finally falling...

*ticktockticktockticktock*

but you're not here yet.

strangely familiar
it's the tenth moon
mistletoe in October
singing, see you soon

it's windy and gray
but warm, somewhat hot
i feel you so near
here and now, but hey,
--you're not.

You're beautiful.

See your reflection
In and beyond my eyes
The tears will help you
Explore the omitted lies

Last Words

Here it is,
Spreaded out, scattered
Before your very eyes
All of yours you didn’t get

My words
Which were born mute
My split-second
Which stays forever
My fire
Which finally exploded
And my eternity
Which came to an end

Tragically nobody's fault
I couldn't talk
Words would cost too much
You couldn't hear
Perfection was too loud

This time,
It's your turn.
This split second,
Is your eternity.

Rainbow Ghost

Rainbow Ghost is its name
It doesn't look scary
It's pretty, some reclaim
But the fact is, on the contrary

What it brings is rainbow
Everywhere, for you and me
It makes one's hopes grow
They're false, I just can't see

It's been haunting for years
So close, I can feel it
I reach out, it disappears
Leaving me in the bottomless pit

the ballad of pinkman

why are you smiling
but with your broken eyes?
try to hide your feeling
behind your joy and lies

every night you silently cry
shedding your secret tears
no matter how you try and try
you can't escape your fears

surely you always look nice
nicer if you try to smile
fake it once, twice, or thrice
hang on, it'll be worthwhile

Wasted Words

A predictable ingenue.
Blow more balloons.
Getting sugar-high.
And go up in the sky.

For one time too much,
Do you still gullibly think,
That you'll enjoy the ride?
When deep down, you know,
Your head's tangled
In a fluttering suicide rope.

Tsk. Such a fool.


*Thx, Sind, for the balloon suicide inspiration x)

The Emptiest Of Feelings*

It's okay to rain.
It's okay to fall.
But when you're balloonless,
You're colourless.

And that--
Despite the louder words
--Is the emptiest of feelings.

*Let Down [Radiohead]

Silent Silence*

No words today.
I gulped them down.
Just doodles.
And Thom Yorke's voice,
Singing, over and over,

"No alarms, and no surprises, please."

*No Surprises [Radiohead]

Not Denial

It would be good
And please everyone
Happy like they should
It's not what I want

I want to run
Not to face this
Point the gun
To my head or his

It's weird, too bizarre
I just want you to go
For now just be afar
What's this,
--I don't want to know.

bad habit

bite my nails
until they have scratches.
peel my chapped lips
don't stop til they bleed.
pour me another caffeine
make me more restless.
roll me another joint
send me to a tiring high.

please, do those.
release me from these
unseen pain and tears.
yes, you are allowed
you and those, after all,
are equal.

Butterflies

Be still.
For one flap,
The typhoon’d blow.
Up high and down low.

Be still.
For one flutter,
I’d expect and hope.
My suicide rope.

Ssh, be still.
For just one flap,
It’d all fall apart.
My heart.

Don’t move.
Don’t beat.
Don’t feel.
Please,
--be still.

notice the unnoticed

stArs. LOve. happiNEss.
spArkLe. rainbOw. suNshinE.
sugAr. miLk. hONEy.
dreAm. fabuLOus. eNchantmEnt.
pAradise. bLiss. wONdEr.
AngeL. devotiON. smilE.
AdorabLe. infatuatiON. gracE.
mAgic. gLOw. twiNklE.
flAwLess. cONtent. pErfect.
wArm. LuxuriOus. securE.
heAven. cLOud niNE.
speciAL. extraOrdiNary. uniquE.
hArmony. aLtOgether. uNitE.
dAnces. meLOdy. tuNE.
ideAL. diamONd. gEm.
spArk. coLOssal. fiNE.
fAiry. marveLOus. priNcE.
tALe. sOngs. priNcEss.
beAutifuL. goOd. NicE.
greAt. gLOry. graNdEur.
rAdiant. gLamOur. magNificEnt.
dAzzLing. rOyal. refiNEd.
hALO. spleNdid. purE.
AbLaze. aurOra. radiaNcE.
embrAce cLOse. entwiNE.
floAt. eLatiON. glidE.
sALute. smOoch. eNdEarment.
loyAL. fascinatiON. chErish.
AppeaLing. passiON. prEtty.

there.
i’ve seen the gArden of shangri-La.
nOw see me staNding therE.
leafless.

pinkman's daily dose of melancholy

pinkman always likes balloons
one day he finds a nice red one
that has brighten pinkman's afternoon
brighter than stars, even than the sun

red balloon keeps floating by
so close, and so near
but pinkman can't deny
pinkman's nagged by a fear

a fear that he wouldn't be able to catch
that nice red balloon
or maybe it would be a mismatch
would pop or even fly to the moon

pinkman does nothing but stands still
trying to figure out which one's best
chase the balloon down the hill
or let go; give it a permanent rest

a rushed rush

let's fly
hit the sky line
of swirls and curls
of grass and wine

of beads, daisies, smokes,
of alcohol and jokes
of butterflies, your smile, my frown
whichever--stay, don't let me drown.

[march 21, o5]

o2.oo am

feel this pain
you never have
hear my scream
as you've been deaf
close your eyes
then open them here
far from your paradise
yet somewhere near
do all, you can ask how
do you understand now?

[june o8, o4]

still

seconds pass today
like they did yesterday
but time stands still
unlike it did that May
what once few steps apart
feels like a world away
we don't change
and still, I wait.

[may 25, o4]